Wisdom of Astrology 6: Astrology and Relationship 占星的智慧 5 ：占星与关系

I think most would agree with me that the most difficult thing we face in life is relationship especially one-to-one relationship. We can excel in our work and do our job well but many of us fail in our relationships, be it husband and wife, parent and children, employer and employee, among colleagues, school mates or simply friends.

Every relationship is a contact between two individuals who have different family background, brought-up, educational experience and careers. Our first relationship in this world is with our mother and secondly is with our father. These initial contacts will establish our sense of security in this world. If one could feel the mother’s love and have good bonding with mother at the younger age, one feel safe and will be able to establish good relationship later on in life. This close contacts will imprint in the psyche for the rest of life. Being able to feel mother’s love will form the basis of how one can love oneself and hence others.

In Astrology, this is indicated by our Moon sign. For instance, one with Moon in Cancer, the innate nature is sensitive, insecure and timid. During the process of interaction with his mother, one has the tendency to expect mother to protect, care, love and nurture him. If mother is not able to offer what is expected of her, then he will feel insecure and timid. For a person with Moon in Aquarius he could perceive mother as someone who is aloof, cold or distant. For a person with Moon in Capricorn, one could feel mother as cold, serious and hardworking. Thus, Moon signs are all individual perceptions of mother and the environment. This forms the basis of future interpersonal relationships, moulded by the interaction with the parents esp the mother.

How we relate can also be noted from our Venus sign and Mars sign where the source is from relationship with sisters and brothers respectively. Venus sign is how we attract in relationships. For example, one with Venus in Aries has tendency to attract competitive relationship with female siblings and hence adult relationships. One with Venus in Leo has tendency to attract fun and playful relationships.

Mars is how we exert our desire to get what we want from relationships. A person with Mars in Gemini with get what he wants through communication. Another person with Mars in Pisces may soft-talk you to gain some pity to get what he wants.

In our horoscope, one important feature of relationship is the 7th house which reveals how and who we attract into our life in one-to-one important relationship such as partners, be it marital or business, where there are close contacts. It represents what kind of person we attract. Basically, we attract another person that is exactly our mirror image. It is a house of open enemy. As we know, our greatest enemy is ourselves.

When we first meet a person, we are attracted to something of similar nature as us. We see our positive features in another person and we develop liking for that person. After further contacts, we realize that there is so much weaknesses or negative features in the other person which could be irritating and disgusting. This is when relationships turn sour and arguments start and many start to question the value of the relationship.

For instance, when the 7th house cusp is Libra, one is attracted to someone who is tactful and civil and expects the relationship to be equal and harmonious. However, upon further contacts after some time, one may feel the inequality and injustice in the relationship. At this point, one may feel one has to break the relationship. Until and unless one realizes that the other person whom he is attracted to, is the mirror image of him, the relationship will be further strained.

Through our horoscope, we are able to see the patterns of our relationships through above-mentioned astrological features. The bottom line is we attract similar energies and features. What we see and perceive of others come from ourselves. We see our ‘true colours’ in the other person. Nobody else to blame except ourselves. When we blame others, there is no way we could improve. When we reflect on ourselves through the image of others, we are on our path to growth and development.

相信许多人会认同，世上最难处理的是人与人的关系。我们可以在工作上有所表现，但是许多人却在关系里遇到困难。这些关系涉及夫妻、亲子、主顾、同事间、同学及朋友等。

每一个关系的接触，都是来自不同的家庭背景、家教、教育及事业。我们的第一个关系是与妈妈为主，其次是爸爸。这早期的接触建立了我们在这世上的安全感。如果我们在早期能够感受妈妈的爱与关怀，与妈妈有很密切的联系，那我们就会产生安全感，因而能够建立很好的人际关系。这亲密关系会深深的印在脑海中。 所以，能够感受母爱，就能很自然的爱自己与爱别人。

在占星学里，月亮星座代表与母亲的关系。例如，某人的月亮入巨蟹，她的本性比较敏感、没安全感及腼腆。在和妈妈相处时，多数期望妈妈来保护她、爱她、照顾她及滋养她。如果妈妈不能满足她的期望，那她会感受更加没安全感和腼腆。另一个月亮入宝瓶者，可能感觉妈妈比较抽离和冷漠。月亮入摩羯者可能感受妈妈冷漠、严肃及勤劳。从这些点子，我们可以看出月亮星座是个人对妈妈与环境的感受，从而形成以后待人处事的模式。

金星星座与火星星座源自于与兄弟姐妹的关系。金星星座是我们在关系里吸引的对象。例如，金星入牡羊者趋向于吸引竞争性的关系，这源自于与姐妹的关系，这竞争的关系模式，延伸到她成年关系，处处会感受到别人和她竞争。

火星则是我们如何争取我们所要的东西。某人的火星入双子会通过沟通去争取他要的东西。另一个火星入双鱼则会以很温柔，扮的可怜兮兮的得到他所要的东西。

在我们的星盘里，第7宫是看关系很重要的部分。7宫显示我们吸引的什么样的人进入我们的生命，这是我们重要的一对一关系，如婚姻伴侣或生意伙伴。它代表我们吸引的是怎么样的人。基本上，我们吸引镜子里面的我们。7宫也代表我们的公开敌人，因为我们即是我们自己最大的敌人，则投射在另外一个人的身上！

初期见面，我们会被与我们相似的本质所吸引。我们会先在对方身上看到我们的优点而被吸引。相处久了之后，我们会发现对方的缺点而感觉不适。这时候关系就会开始擦出火花，双方就会质疑这段关系，值不值得延续这关系。

例如，7宫的宫头星座是天秤，他吸引的人是言行得体、和蔼可亲、很有文化性的人，且期望关系是平等与和谐。然而，相处久了之后，他会感受到不平等的对待。这时，关系可能会开始破裂。如果他没发现他所吸引的是自己的影子，关系就会越来越僵。

透过我们的星盘，我们可以看到我们在关系里的模式。基本上我们吸引与自己同样能量与特质的人。看到的与感受到的，都源自于我们自己，不能怪罪于他人。如果怪罪于他人，那我们根本不能修。如果能透过关系而反省自己，那我们的生命的成长就有机会了！

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